Alas, ‘Friendship’ and ‘Friend’ are two of the most misused words in the world! The Oxford Dictionary very simply describes a ‘Friend’ as ‘a person with whom one enjoys mutual affection and regard’. As is truly said, the simplest things in the world are most easily misunderstood. Just like true love, true friendship has become a rare thing in today’s materialistic world. Yet, true friendship is the need of the hour, given our stressful lifestyles.

What then, are the essentials of a true friendship? Here, I have enumerated a few essentials of true friendship in my opinion:

1) To have a friend, be a friend:

    You can’t have a good friend, unless you yourself are a good friend. When you meet a new and interesting person, the best way to strike a friendship is just to let things happen. You can’t force yourself into someone’s heart. At best, you can express your willingness to be better acquainted with that person. However, the best way to make friends is to be one yourself.

    2) A Friend in need is a friend indeed:

      Though a very old adage, it holds true even today. The new form of this adage is “A friend is one who walks in when others walk out”. With growing self-centeredness, many good friends fail the ultimate test of friendship. The moment, they find their friend in trouble, they jump ship. Often, a person, who has thus been betrayed by a friend, finds himself more shocked by this betrayal than the reason (his original misfortune) he was betrayed. It is better not to have any friends at all, than to have fair weather friends. At least, then, we won’t have to deal with the pain of shattered expectations.

      3) Unconditional Trust: the base of Friendship

        A true friend is someone, you can trust implicitly. There is no such thing as impartial trust. Trust in friendship should be complete and mutual. There can not any ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ in true friendship. A friendship based on conditions is no friendship at all.

        4) Friendship enriches life:

          As quoted by C. S. Lewis, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.”. A friendship should give the relief of spring, when one is going through autumn of life. In times of happiness, it multiplies our joys.

          5) A friend is one who understands you better than yourself:

            It is truly said, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” A friend is someone who knows everything about you, but still loves you in spite of your imperfections and flaws. He will often make you realize your true potential when you have lost your self-confidence. S/he’ll lend you a hand to climb up when you have slipped down.

            6) A friend is your best critic:

              “The best mirror is an old friend”, is one of the best ways to describe a true friend. You need a critic to succeed in life. A friend serves this purpose very well. When you make a mistake, a true friend will point it out to you, without thinking about the consequences.

              7) Friends agree to disagree:

                Just because you are friends with someone, does not mean that you have to the same viewpoints on everything. Goods friends learn to live with their differences, and appreciate each other’s viewpoints without agreeing with them.

                8)  A friend is good listener:

                A good friend is one who listens to without passing any judgment or offering unsolicited advice. A good friend is all ears, even when you are talking non-sense. A friend acts like a soundboard, when you are ideating, a silent scapegoat when angry and a delighted companion when you express your joy.

                I know it is difficult, almost impossible to find all these qualities in a single friend. But when you can see some of these in your friend, know that you are truly blessed with a good friend. However, if you find a friend with all these qualities, pinch yourself, and realize that you have the rarest diamond on earth! Take pains to retain it with you.